Brainstorm
Lately, I've been having lots of thoughts in my mind. I've been thinking about past, present, and future. Once again, games start to look more appealing, because those are what keep my thoughts at bay. My days are becoming a bit more blurred, because they all seem about the same as the other. I keep saying "I'm thinking about writing a book", but that's all I ever do: just think about it. I could write things down so I don't forget them, but I seem to be too lazy to even do that. I think about school and how either their system of teaching should change or how I should change to keep up with everyone else. Maybe I need both. I think about moving away from my home. I think about how many years of school I have left. I think about getting a job. I think about what it would be like to handle all of my finances. My questions of "Why?" and "Why not?" have been confirmed as good questions, but most of them don't get answered. Ignorance is NOT bliss. I want so many things to stay the same, but at the same time, I want so many things to change. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way, but it sure seems like it. Most of these thoughts are all part of growing up, but I'm not exactly looking forward to growing up either. Sure, some of the things I do seem to be more mature than what other people do, but I don't see why I have to be even more mature than I am now. Now that I've laid my thoughts down on the table, maybe you can brainstorm about it too.
posted by gamefreak @ 1:48 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I think we have all wanted to respond to your blog, but have not known what to say. I, at least, thought that what you have written is honest and deep and it deserved a response of the same kind.
I remember being sixteen and having a world full of options. At the same time, I only had one option that was acceptable to my parents. That option was to get married and have children. I was told that no other success in life would make me as happy or please God as much. So the decision for my future was made for me and I never questioned it. It did actually make things easier, I guess, since it wasn't clear to me what my choice would have been if I had been allowed to choose. The only thing wrong with it was that I didn't ever live MY OWN life -- just the one I was told to live. And now at 53, I still have the same basic question that you have: "What should I do with my life?"
I know that it is compelling to just put your thoughts into neutral and sort of "tread water" with your games. It is a pretty fun way to pass the time while you wait for someone else to tell you what to do. But Geoffrey, you have a mother who believes that only you can make the decisions about your life. One of the most important things I ever learned (and I wish I had known it at your age) is that I can choose what my own life will mean. I had been taught that God had a purpose for my life and I had to find out what it was. Now I believe that, whatever my purpose is, I am the one in charge of deciding and choosing it. Along with that goes the planning, goal-setting and charting out the steps I will take to get there.
Some things seem to be decided for you right now, like finishing high school and probably going on to college. That is because an education is necessary no matter what else you decide to do. But that is just the starting point and you can go in any direction from there. You have 360 degrees of choices. "Why?" and "Why not?" are not really the right questions to be asking yourself. The right questions are "what, how, when, and where." These are the questions that require action. There is never a good answer for why or why not.
Life is dynamic -- always moving and changing. It will leave you behind unless your eyes are open to all the possibilities. You can always talk to your brother and sisters. We are all ready to support you in any way we can. We love you.
Geoff, I think Mom's response is great, and I also think that Wesley is a great example of what Mom is talking about. He's not even 30 yet, (or did he just turn 30?) and look at all that he's done with his life! He got his education, which I think is the very most important part of why he's been able to travel and do the things that he loves.
Hang in there. High School, thankfully, doesn't last forever. Work hard for the next couple of years and I promise, it will pay off. You can write, get a good job, or even travel. Like Mom said, it will your choice. We just want to see you happy, Bud.
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