Wednesday, April 15, 2009

More Personal Info

I've been hesitant to blog about my life because the only thing that's happening in my life that's worth mentioning is my online relationship. But now, I think it's time I tell everyone about what's been going on. As you may know, I've been in an online relationship with a 22 year old woman named Ashelynn from Oklahoma. She said she was a lesbian because she had been mistreated by guys for so long. She said I was her first boyfriend in 6 years. I felt so special when she noticed I was different. However, there have been facts about this relationship that I have not mentioned to the family for fear of how I would be judged. I'm going to share those facts with you now.
I didn't just have a relationship with one woman. I've been in a relationship with three. I've talked with Allison about this, but in telling her my story, she had a lot to say when I told her I had two girlfriends, so my story remained incomplete. I was afraid of how I would be judged. It's not as bad as it sounds. These three woman knew each other. Ashelynn and two of her friends agreed that they wanted to share me. I had my doubts that the relationship would fail, but since they were bisexuals, they said that they loved each other just as much as they loved me, so it seemed that there was a chance that it might work.
Looking back now, I realize that this happened pretty quickly. After about two weeks of officially dating Ashelynn, she told me about five girlfriends she's had, and she wanted to introduce them to me. She introduced me to a woman named Izzie. She's 23 and was living with Ashelynn as her roommate in her dorm. After she got to know me, she said that she wanted to date me and Ashelynn. Obviously I said yes. Having two women who loved me seemed to be a dream come true. Both Ashelynn and Izzie said that they loved me because I had treated them better than any other man had treated them before. They both had abusive pasts, so it seemed that their love for me was genuine. 
After another two or three weeks passed, Ashelynn introduced another one of her girlfriends to me. Her name is Sarah; age 18 and she moved in with Ashelynn and Izzie in an appartment. She fell for me the first day she met me just as Ashelynn and Izzie did. She didn't just want to be my girlfriend, she wanted to be my submissive. (a willing slave) I was shocked to hear this. How in the world could she like me this much after one day? She said that Ashelynn was letting her and Izzie read my emails to her, so she had been judging me before I met her. My time with her that day convinced her that I would love her and treat her right, the same way I would with Ashelynn and Izzie. She had been abused more than Ashelynn and Izzie had been too. Ashelynn and Izzie didn't agree right away about letting Sarah be my third girlfriend, but Sarah was adament about it, so they finally agreed that all three of them would share me.
There was always a factor of lust. These women were abused mostly because of their physical features. They told me their cupsizes. Ashelynn had d cups that she said were almost double d's but not quite, Izzie said she had c cups, and Sarah, despite being the youngest of the three, said she had double d's. All three of them had a very high sex drive. They'd have sex with each other as well as have sex with me online. Being inexperienced with women AND sex, they even discussed who would do what to me first. Ashelynn would get first kiss, Izzie would get my virginity, and Sarah would get to do naughtier things.
Obviously, this was too good to be true for me. I was telling all of my really close online friends. I wanted to tell the whole family too, but like I said before, I was afraid of how you would judge me. Why am I comfortable talking about this now? As you may have noticed, most of what I have said is put in the past tense. I'll explain why. During my time with Ashelynn and the others, I've also had to talk with Ashelynn's brother Korii. He supported them as if he was their older brother. I became friends with Korii. It was against my will at first, but I learned to get used to him. 
Korii fell for a girl named Lirum on one of the games he and I played. I became friends with Lirum as well. I soon learned that Korii was going to marry Lirum in real life, but she wouldn't marry him on the game. Even though having her in real life should have been enough for him, it bothered him she wouldn't marry him on the game as well. I tried to be a mediator between them, tried to either have Lirum agree to marry him on the game or have Korii agree that he didn't need to marry her on the game too. In doing so, I found that Korii had told Lirum a different story of who he was than he told me. I pointed this out to Lirum, and we agreed not to talk about this with Korii. I would get in trouble for talking to Lirum, and Lirum wanted to wait for Korii to tell her the truth.
I sent a message to Izzie telling her that Korii was either lying to me or Lirum and I didn't know what to do. I got a message back from Korii. He told me that I had ruined his relationship with Lirum, and so he would ruin mine. He admitted that this whole relationship I was in was a lie. He had made Ashelynn, Izzie, Sarah, and the other girls up. He and his cousin were playing with me the whole time. He said that they would have told me sooner, but I was "too damn happy." He threatened me to fix his relationship or he would take back the guild in which he had appointed me guild leader, and kick me out. This threat was obviously made out of desperation, becuase it had no affect on me what-so-ever. Why would I want to keep the guild after finding out the whole relationship was a fraud?
I had been with Ashelynn for about 2 months, and I just found out all of it was fake yesterday. It's been difficult dealing with the pain. I've told most of my online friends already, and Lirum and I are planning to get back at him. I took school off today as well. I was up really late talking to my online friends about it, plus the fact that I couldn't sleep very well. I'm not in as much pain as you might think though. I always had my doubts it was real. They never sent pictures, and we never talked on the phone.
I've had some difficulties in the relationship as well. Sarah not wanting to wait for me, wanting to have sex with other men. Ashelynn cheated on me with one of her old boyfriends, saying she felt terrible about it afterwards, checking herself into a clinic to prevent it from happening again. But now I know it was just Korii and his cousin torturing me. It's going to take a while to completely erase his influence on me. I integrated my life around Ashelynn. Lirum and I are going to try and make him pay for what he did. After that.....I'll just have to start over.