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Debra finally left Kodiak on June 2nd. People keep asking me how I feel about it and I always have the same answer. I feel good and bad about it. She was my only good friend on the island, but she was also smothering me. I wanted to make her happy, and she wanted to spend every free moment I had with me. My schedule turned into: Wake up, go to Debra's, go to work, go to Debra's, go home to sleep. If I wanted to spend a day by myself, she would be upset about it. She wouldn't voice it, but you could see it in her face or hear it in the way she spoke. I became her best friend really fast and she wanted to spend more time with me the closer it got to the day she left. It got to the point where we didn't know what to talk about or what to do. She wanted me there, so I was there.

Wesley was going to buy Debra's car before she left, but...I ended up buying it instead. Wesley had his eye on a scooter (which is like half motorcycle, half mountain bike), and he said that I must be comfortable with it because I've driven it around so much. I've had the opportunity to drive Debra's car as well as Debra's parent's cars because she broke her leg on Prom night. She could still drive her car, but it was less bothersome to have me drive it instead. Anyway, Wesley lent me $800 and I got Debra's car. Its been nice to have transportation, but I worry about the future costs such as gas money and insurance. I'm going to see if I can get a raise at Safeway so I don't have to be so careful with my money.

I've been switched from Night Stocker to working in the Dairy department of the store. Its sort of a cross between working in Produce and working as a Night Stocker. I have to watch the expiration dates on all the products, but other than that, its just the usual stocking it on the shelves. I've done well enough to be one of the best workers in this department, but that isn't actually saying much because people keep quitting or getting fired. I'm one of the best because I stick around. I'm a reliable worker. That's why I'm gonna ask for this raise. One of the managers thinks I'll get the raise because I've done so much extra stuff. I've done overtime, I've worked different departments, I've come in on some of my off days, etc.

I worry about things all the time. My biggest worry right now is what I'll do in the future. I've been given the option to move back to Utah in October with mom. With Debra moving to California, my options have been move to Utah, stay here in Kodiak, or move to California. I guess Minnesota is an option too. I have a couple online friends that live there. But its appealing to move to California, not just because of Debra, but because I would be able to transfer to the Safeway there, keeping my job. Safeway seems to be located in only coastal areas. But having worked at Safeway for over a year, I should have enough experience to get a job where ever I decide to move. So the choice comes down to family and/or friends. A part of me is content here. Another part of me wants to move back to Utah to see the other half of my family again, and see my cousin Tyler and a few friends that have missed me. And another wants to try someplace new with a good friend, because I haven't found very high quality friends here or in Utah. It would be nice being able to live on my own, but on the other hand, I really don't mind being with family and helping with rent. This is the kind of choice I wish would be decided for me. Send me where I am needed. Those I've lived with can all agree that I make very little impact on the household. I keep mostly to myself and I keep most everything clean. So what am I to do? The decision will have to wait until later. But as always, I'd like to hear all of your opinions on the matter. It might make my choice easier.